Independence Day: Resurgence

                     

Looks like getting invaded by aliens was the best thing that ever happened to Humanity. After they get rid of the aliens in the first one world peace is achieved as everyone works together to cannibalise alien tech to defend their planet against future attacks. It's basically 'Star Trek' future, but then more aliens come to fuck it all up again. 

            

                   

I actually liked this one more than the original. It was more fun - but not intentionally so. While the original was bad, this one edged into being so bad it's good occasionally. The feeling wasn't consistent though, and about 80% of the movie was only so that that it was... bad. 

The characterisation was still extremely basic and bland, and just like in the original there was too much jumping around between disperse characters for my liking (I like this more in novels or TV shows that have more time to tell their story, but in a movie it really just results in under-developed characters that we don't care about). Most of the original cast stuck around for this one, but Will Smith , and I'm not complaining, but that and the focus instead on a group of young pilots meant that there was no real main character to focus on. 

I liked some of the funny moments though, and some of them were even intentional! The Whitehouse narrowly escaping destruction was cute, and the scene of Judd Hirsh driving his little boat along with massive tidal waves and explosions going on around him was hilariously bad. Another such moment was that 'Red Tails' level scene where the guy in the plane recognises his stripper-come-doctor mother on the top of a hospital building amid the total destruction of the whole city in time to see her fall to her death. 

Brent Spiner is back, and I really enjoyed him. “We're gonna get you to sick bay” was a highlight, and his character was fun throughout.

                   

                     

In the end though, there was too much happening in not enough time. I liked a lot of the elements, or I at least liked the idea of them, but everything was under-explored. This stretched out would have made a fun, silly, TV series.

                  

Independence Day: Resurgence: 36.4

Diary of the Dead

           

Grandpa Romero thought that a zombie movie about the interweb would be good for the naughties. Somehow he also decided that found footage was an acceptable style. The result is this bizarrely unintentional throwback that feels false and pandering on every level. The people don't seem real, as they talk about bloggers and hackers - I felt like I was watching an episode of 'The Lone Gunmen' at times (bless them, but they have gotten dated). Is anyone even blogging any more?

          

        

Let's give the film a partial pass on that for being a decade old (at the time of writing), despite being oddly misinformed and outdated even in 2007. There are plenty of other major problems that I can talk about.

T he found footage element ties into this whole thing about the guy behind the camera being a student film maker and wanting to document everything and all that nonsense reasoning behind why he has for some reason filmed everything literally until his death. For this reason it's cute, if ridiculous, that he keeps giving people direction to make it look better. The resulting movie really does look like a student film, which it is in the fiction of the movie, to be fair, but I think they did too good a job of it. If their aim really was to make it realistically lame, well done! That doesn't subtract from the fact that this is a lame movie, though, and most of it doesn't seem self-aware (and the scenes that do, are so blatantly self-aware that they become unintentionally ridiculous. 

The writing of this movie was some of the worst I've seen in a while, resulting in some laughable dialogue. The bad acting didn't help, and because of this none of the characters really feel like real people. I thought I'd like the English guy, but just like everyone else he grew too overtly cliché to be enjoyable. There are also SO many long exposition scenes that no one seemed to even try and disguise with other things happening. The film literally stops for a few minutes to give the characters a chance to tell us what's happening and how they feel about one another. There are also lots of repeated scenes or clips of dialogue, for no apparent reason. Stuff that's happened less than twenty minutes ago is repeated in flashbacks in case we've forgotten about them already.

The one bright side I can see here is that there is still the occasional imaginative zombie dispatching, but many of them cross the line into being too silly for me at this point.

             

Diary of the Dead: 31.0

The Divide

                       

This movie sits on your chest and repeatedly slaps you in the face with bleakness - not for any reason, just cause. We get right into it, with nukes falling on NYC without much explanation, and a group of inhabitants of an apartment block getting into the basement, where the situation predictably deteriorates (almost comically fast, too). 

The setup is fine, though obviously it's been done before, and the sets are nice, but all other elements are sub par. The characters all lack much personality and depth, to the extent that I had difficulty telling most of them apart. There were too many characters but not enough characterisation. The majority of the film is just gore/rape/violence porn though, and there's no meaning to it (neither subtle nor blatant), so it's not an enjoyable thing to watch.

       

          

The whole thing with the hazmat guys was totally pointless and did nothing for the plot. I thought they were instigating some kind of twist, or prepping for a Shyamalan style shock ending, but nope. They turn up, their presence is neither explained or matters, then they leave. At the end the lady emerges to find total destruction. They could have at least ended with the city intact, or aliens everywhere, or leaving a holodeck, or something. 

The lack of meaning beyond being a bummer for its own sake feels like a waste of time. There's no letup or comedy or reason given to even care for any of these people. The acting wasn't bad, exactly, but the writing (and probably the direction) definitely needed improvement. They could have made it a character driven film where we care, or they could have had some crazy twists or action. They could have at least had some deeper meaning to events. The best thing this film does is show you the effects of fallout radiation fairly realistically.

                  

The Divide: 25.5

Ghostbusters

                  

So this is one of the best comedies of all time. It's perfectly cast (to the extent that the movie really feels crafted around the leads), perfectly written, brilliantly dry, wonderfully shot and excellently scored. The quadruplet of Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, and (director) Ivan Reitman really make this movie (oh and Ernie Hudson was good too - actually, so was Moranis and Potts and Weaver, though Peter's intentions in that romantic plot line never felt totally legitimate to me, Dana deserves better.) It's not a film about ghosts at all - all of the sci-fi elements are just backdrop to these guy's amazing chemistry with one another.

              

           

There was a lot of ad-libbing going on, which often turns me off, but they're obviously so happy with one another that it works. Murray delivers characteristically great punchlines (as well as consistently maintaining an air of dry humour), Ramis plays the socially dysfunctional straight man (though limiting his contribution to this is a little insulting), Aykroyd is believably weird (because he is, and I love him). The plot starts fairly grounded, and gradually escalates in insanity until the final reveal of the giant Stay Puft marshmallow man. This film isn't just not scary, it actively combats both horror and the supernatural. Science is what defeats the ghosts (and multidimensional gods) in the end, not reading backwards from the book of evil. Comedy plays a similar role, as none of the ghosts (save Slimer) are particularly funny - it all comes from how the characters act in these situations. I like it when my expectations are met with the reverse like this, and this film does it so well that I often compare it to 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' on that point. 

                   

                             

And I love that these guys are just normal people, you know? They don't do crazy flips or anything - they don't even really know what to do most of the time. They're likeable and feel real, which is just what you want in a protagonist. 

The idea of battling ghosts with scientific equipment isn't such a big deal anymore, with all those shitty paranormal inpector TV shows, but back then it was a neat original idea, and combined with the brilliant comedy of the three main characters, has made 'Ghostbusters' a timeless classic.

                  

Ghostbusters: 90.0

Dawn of the Dead

             

Try and imagine a time when malls were the new flashy capitalist thing, and not the loathsome trash compactor dungeons that you venture into if you want to avoid the rain for a bit or if you like wearing tracksuits but are neither Paulie Gualtieri nor doing sport of any kind? You can't? Well, THAT TIME IS NOW. 

             

I like what Romero is trying to say here. More things should have subtle messages. It's good to stay busy, and I like things with more than one thing.

                   

               

There's not a huge plot or the presence of character arcs here, it's not a very conventional film, but it's great. The music is weird, the lighting is bright and static, and you get the impression that a lot was filmed but that the real movie was made in editing. 

We open with a news studio slowly falling into chaos and a swat team busting a zombie-ridden block of houses. Our four protagonists escape on a helicopter, and really it could have been anyone. They end up in a mall, where they survive for a while until a biker gang comes by to mess it up.

The four leads were pretty great, though a lot of the minor actors were a bit hammy. The filmography was pretty basic really, but there were so many fun deaths and quirky moments (many of the interesting deaths were apparently thought up at the time of shooting). It's a much more fun film than the first or third one, and it's also probably the one most people think of (it's certainly the one most people rip off). I think it's my least favourite of the trilogy though, simply because the first was a classic that created the whole concept, and the third was far darker and was set in a bunker.

             

Dawn of the Dead: 67.3

Interstellar

                

“Sometimes you gotta go back to actually move forward. I don't mean going back to reminisce or chase ghosts, I mean go back to... see where you came from. Where you been, how you got here. See where you're going. I know there are those that say you can't go back... yes you can. Just have to look in the right place.”

      
Look out Matthew McConaughey, Matt Damon's going to tell you his entire character motivation and then betray youuuuuuuu! 
             

Nah, but this film was pretty great. Earth is dying so it shoots off a ship in a last ditch effort to preserve humanity. From fairly grounded origins, the movie quickly gets bat shit crazy, in an ending very much like that of '2001: A Space Odyssey'. The '2001' influence was ridiculously heavy throughout, which is fine as it's one of the best films of all time, and it generally set me in a good mood while watching this movie. However it's not a good idea to critically compare this to '2001', as then this movie looks like garbage, and it really isn't.

The dramatic elements were possibly the weakest, but they were alright. I didn't really like the end a whole lot, and the whole bookcase thing where love can solve all your problems, or whatever, felt a little too Disney for me. The sci-fi elements were great though, and I really enjoyed the exploration segment (I wish it could have gone on for longer).

          

                     
I thought all that wacky shit at the end looked really cool, and I liked that there was a strong scientific influence throughout (though it felt a little over explained at times). A good example of this (and the one that everyone brings up) is the realistic interpretation of the wormhole. The whole time-skip ageing deal was a nice touch too, and I was glad to see it as it's often glossed over in films (you need to read sci-fi books for that, or have an actual interest in science - both of which would make you an actual nerd, which isn't cool. Just say you're a nerd and watch Marvel movies. Maybe buy an 'Iron Man' shirt and talk about how excited you are for 'Batman v Superman', or whatever piece of crap you're currently being told to be excited about). I forgot what I was talking about. Oh yeah! Matt Damon!
        

               
I loved seeing him emerge like a block of vacuum packed noodles. I was totally: "Oh what is.. who... oh MY GOD IT'S MATT DAMON".

Anyway, I liked the bleak aspects. I prefer my sci-fi to be totally hopeless. There's really no question weather Earth even has a chance, and Michael Caine cannot give any less of a fuck. He is immortal, after all. The visuals were hands down beautiful. The cinematography was awesome. What particularly caught my eye were the POV shots from ship-based cameras were just like the kind of NASA stuff you see in real life. It also reminded me of 'Europa Report' at times with this, and some of the cutscenes from 'Halo: Reach'. This is one of those modern films that I wish they would slow down and take a breath in now and then. I loved the really slow shots in '2001', those shots that were almost stills. Some of the shots could have paused for longer here. Maybe there was too much dialogue?
Oh an I liked the robot. It was nicely designed (by Apple) and was a good homage to both HAL 9000 and, of course, the monolith. It was neat how it moved about, without getting too silly.

                  
Don't actually buy a Lincoln, folks.

              

Interstellar: 73.1

10 Cloverfield Lane

                     
Well, that was surprising. '10 Cloverfield Lane' not only turned out to be completely unrelated to 'Cloverfield', it was also pretty good! 
The copy and pasting of the name felt a like a bit of a cheap marketing gimmick seeing as the two films have literally nothing in common, but at least it'll trick some idiots into watching a decent film that isn't just full of building destruction. Instead, it's about a woman who is semi-kidnapped and trapped in a bunker with a creepy guy and another random guy, as the world supposedly ends above them. Structurally (and in terms of physical space) it was a very compact film. The drama was excellent. Tension built gradually and wonderfully until a pleasing climax. It's especially great when the three are together (some of those dinner scenes were so deliciously tense, I loved it). This whole aura was helped by a great script (that actually helped to give backstories to the characters, and set events up that would pay off later) and good acting all round.

               

                  
The film is pretty much ruined once the central mystery is solved and the woman leaves the bunker to find that there are wacky CGI aliens flying about. This made me roll my eyes so much - it's like it suddenly turned into 'Skyline', or something. They should have just cut it off when she discovers the fact, and done a kind of 'The Arrival of Wang' with it (but better quality). But no, now I'm having Tom Cruise 'War of the Worlds' flash backs as she does some crazy Molotov cocktail crap and blows up a whole alien ship, before driving off into the sunset.
A nicely thrilling movie with an extremely disappointing end.

               

10 Cloverfield Lane: 49.1

Left Behind

                 

Holy balls, this is a terrible movie. I'm almost excited at how horrendous it is. I'm only five minutes in but I can't help myself - if I survive to the end of this I'll continue this rev - OH MY GOD SHE HAD TO LOOK UP A THESAURUS TO LEARN THE WORD “WACKO”.

              

                   

So now it's the next morning, and coming back to this I honestly couldn't remember if I had finished it – but yes, I have, it was just that forgettable.

The acting was 'Hollyoaks' level terrible (even from Nick Cage, who is seen here further ruining his own career), the lighting was bland and flat, the big action sequences and crowd scenes felt forced and awkward, and the effects were terrible. Add to that the whole religious element, which came off a little strangely to me - I don't know, maybe you have to be American to get it, but I just felt like Christianity was being shoved down my throat the entire time. It was kind of like when Rod Serling talked about the next episode at theend of 'The Twilight Zone' and then suddenly really really thinks youshould buy this pack of cigarettes.

Add to that an odd twisted kind of sarcasm, where someone would talk about their crazy religious mother, or whatever. It felt stilted and unnatural, they just weren't getting it quite right. Kind of like Cameron's awkwardly sucking up to the Scots/thinly veiled scare tacticsbefore the referendum.

Overall I just think this movie took itself far too seriously, and was far too poorly made, to ever be seen by any sane person.

           

Left  Behind: 4.6

The Cabin in the Woods

               

I heard a lot of hype about this when it came out, which is why I didn't bother seeing it. I've seen it reference now and then since though, so I thought maybe it had stood the test of time, and decided I'd give it a try.

                 

              

Ok, so, right away? nice unexpected pop up title. We need more of these, despite them now being used semi-frequently. Also, I love these controller guys. These are the real heroes of the film, fuck the teenagers. I was bummed out when they were dispatched towards the end, but I really enjoy characters like them, and the acting was superb. Even the fairly minor characters are well drawn here, and I was genuinely sad to see them go.

By contrast, I couldn't see the teens die fast enough (not putting that in red because you're an idiot if that's a spoiler). Their acting and background build up is done better here than in most slashers, but it was still an ordeal for me. The good thing about this movie, though, is that it's deliciously self-aware. Whedon was only a producer in this, yet I feel I can still sniff out his lovely stank.

               

                 

The deaths are also mostly unexpected, which I always like. None of the movie was scary scary though. There was a little tension, and a few jumps, but nothing major. I have no sympathy for jump-scares anyway, but the tension never have enough time to build up before we either cut away to someone else or the mood changes comedically.

I'm fine with all that though. To be honest, I find most horror kind of crappy and I struggle to really enjoy it unless they throw in a bunch of artistic shit to make watching it more interesting. This movie goes the 'Scream' route instead, and I'd say arguably does a better job of it. Sure, it deserves to be remembered, why not?

              

The Cabin in the Woods: 69.0

Pacific Rim

          

So aliens are attacking, but instead of coming from outer space they've decided to give the Earth a major rim job (Major Rim Job).

A big noisy effects laden homage to all things Kaiju. Godzilla is nowhere to be seen, and neither are any of the other old classics (none that I recognised, anyway) but there's still a nice range of big freaky buggers to be punched in the face repeatedly by giant robots.

Most of the action takes place in the sea, with the robots and the monsters standing waist deep in the water beating the shit out of each other. But just for variety there's a sky/space battle and an underwater battle too, so that's good.

             

             

Not sure if there's too much more to say here really - this just isn't my thing I'm afriad, and that'll come across in my score. The effects were good, if all pervading, and the acting was fine. The characters here were more three dimentional than they usually are in dumb action movies, but still not enough to make you care when they are killed off. Everything was self-parodying and light-hearted. Big and dumb and possibly fun, is the take away. If you liked the new transformers movies, you'll like this.

Also, the woman who did GLaDOS's voice in Portal did the voice of the computer in one of the big robots, which was cool if sort of distracting. She was sounding across between GLaDOS and a turret here (for whom she also did the voices).

              

Pacific Rim: 39.7

Kingsman: The Secret Service

                  

"I'm a Catholic whore currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at the military abortion clinic. So hail Satan and good day."

          

Why would a Catholic be worshiping Satan? Unless they've changed a lot since school (went to a Catholic primary school, don't ask) or I just wasn't paying much attention.

         

Did you ever see that movie 'Stormbreaker?' Well this is sort of like that, but a bit better.

            

                    
It's sort of like a lot of things though, chiefly the Bond movies. That is to say, it's British. Very British, in a sort of way that occasionally felt put-upon, but was mostly entertaining. The main problem the other rookie spies have with Eggsy is that he's working class, the Kinsmen shoot about in an updated tube, etc. (and by saying "etc" that doesn't mean that I've ran out of ideas, like usual. Eggsy lives in a flat in a very councilly looking bit of London, uh, he goes to the pub a lot, they wear tweed suits occasionally)

It's interesting that Fox should be making a movie all about gentlemen when Murdoch - one of the most hateful men in existence (honestly, I was somewhat on board with Valentine but I'd never go for whatever crappy chip Murdoch would be peddling) - also runs shitfests like the Sun and Sky.

But plenty is made by Fox, and I don't blame the movie for that. The acting was all good and the fight scenes were the best I've seen in weeks (a long time). I especially liked Sofia Boutella in this regard - you can totally see her dancing coming into it, and now I hear that she's in talks for other films, which is no more than she deserves. Honestly, I think she made the movie, I can't praise her enough and look forward to seeing her in other things - I'd even consider watching ballet.

             

                    
Colin Firth was also fun as Eggsy's mentor figure, doing his best David Niven-Bond impersonation to great enjoyment from myself. Michael Caine, Samuel L. Jackson and Mark Strong did an excellent job as always - and, kinda weirdly (but enjoyably), Mark Hamill made a fairly brief appearance as a kooky JAFFA (an abbreviation I picked up from my father and the technicians he used to work with at the local uni that stands for Just Another Fucking Academic).

It was far from perfect though. The plot had some bite to it, but failed to bite back in any meaningful way; while interesting motivations were raised, they weren't explored, and the bad guys remained exactly that. There was a lot of swearing and violence, but I was aware of the movie trying to shock me while watching it, which I found a little distracting. Likewise, the self-awareness was funny at times, but not particularly needed, and sometimes a little heavy handed.

In all though an excellent action movie that keeps one's attention and would not be a mistake to watch, but not particularly thought provoking or deep in any way that works.

               

Oh yeah, and when you saw him come out towards the end dressed in the suit did you think "NERD" too? With those glasses? No? Yes? Nah, I can't hear you; shut up.

Oh yeah, and I like brogues, so there.

                     

Kingsman: The Secret Service: 50.4

Flash Gordon

           

"FLASH! (buda-bum-bum) Ah-ahhhhh. Saviour of the universe!"

   

Brilliant.

OK, so I know it's stupid and scriptless and action driven and unashamedly American (because everyone should be a little ashamed of everything), but the mere mention of 'Flash Gordon' never fails to bring a smile to my face. It's one of those dumb things that are stuck in my head, and while in a very real way I can find no fault with it, in another way I do see that it's the epitome of silly movie sci-fi and everything that I should feel strongly against. It's just so awesome though, right? "So bad, yet so good" said the guy in 'Ted' (or maybe it was the bear - it was one of them, anyway. No matter that they were high and are fictional).

It's like 'Star Wars' with all the depth and meaning sucked out, and then a worse plot and actors tacked on, and some embarrassing and yet hugely enjoyable special effects used. I think that description makes it sound pretty bad, but even if you did do all of that to 'Star Wars' it would still be 'Star Wars', right? A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet, and this rose is going by 'Flash Gordon' - and, uh, we also spliced it a little to smell worse and then explode. But still a rose.

   

   

There are a few things I really liked about 'Flash Gordon': Brian Blessed playing the king of the big Norse laser shooting guys, Timothy Dalton playing Robin Hood, The awesome Queen soundtrack, Flash's flying scooter, and the ridiculousness of all the villains (especially Ming). This movie also invented the harry potter scar, in the form of Flash's lighting bolt logo (though, to be fair, the SS and the ancient Greeks helped too).

While I legitimately love this goofy film, I do understand that you have to be a special sort of odd to enjoy it as much as I do. It's dated so badly that even the somewhat serious scenes are laughable, and this is one of the things that gets most people, but none of it is meant to be taken seriously - not even the effects, not even at the time. It's all a big joke, and if you can't see that through the model ships and colourful dry ice, then it's on you.

    

"Flash! Flash, I love you! But we only have fourteen hours to save the Earth!"
    
Flash Gordon: 68.7

Iron Sky

    

Kind of funny in that sort of way that 'Mega Python vs Gatoroid' was. I do usually enjoy a satirical comedy, but when you're going for a target as, uh, large as the Americans, it doesn't quite work when you're using such simple methods (so this blog doesn't quite work, then). It's heavy handed, is what I'm saying, and heavy-handedness is less excusable when you're critiquing a victim so easy to make fun of. Not just heavy handed to a fault, but heavy handed to the point of ridiculousness.

It nearly comes full circle, and is so bad that it's good. Too often, though, it's just so bad that it's terrible, and I'm left amazed that anyone can find these emotionally bland caricatures watchable. The movie is filled with spoofs that are somehow simultaneously eye rollingly obvious and terribly portrayed.

    

    

Oh yeah - and Nazis, who the movie flaunts excitedly for the duration. There are plenty of over the top iffy effects (though still better than what I can do, annoyingly) and wobbly plot points, though the whole premise of Nazis living on the dark side of the moon is intentionally laughable anyway. Some clunky parallels are drawn, some crazy shit happens, a black guy who's apparently from the 80s plays an exceedingly cringe worthy lead roll (oh yeah, and how much more OK is whiting up than blacking up? Or is it whiting down, then?), and then it ends kind of like how 'Dr. Strangelove' ended. Actually, this movie follows essentially the same plot that 'Dr. Strangelove' did. It even makes all the same points - just here they are all made with little to no tact, and where most of the laughs derive from how bad the acting and plot is.

It's a, wait for it, Finnish-Australian-German film. I guess I can see the European in the style, but I'm not sure where the Australians fit into it - maybe they bring the semi-racist stereotypes to the board?

I'm being harsh here, because it's not just one of those so bad it's funny movies. It tries to cleverly more, and fails. What we're left with is something really bad, that's trying to make a point, doing it badly, and then becoming less funny because of how hard it's trying. Not bad for a little studio with a somewhat modest budget, but unless you're really into this sub-genre of horrible comedies I'd give it a miss.

Oh I nearly forgot: some of that steam-punky Nazi stuff looked cool, though god knows what those space-zeppelins were filled with.

   

Iron Sky: 8.7

The Happening

   

So this played out like one of the worse 'X-Files' episodes: a fair setup, with some interesting deaths, then a plot that went to shit and an unsatisfactory conclusion.

   

  

There's some pointless character setup, and then people start committing suicide all over the place. This makes for some very entertaining action sequences, with people jumping off buildings all over the place and crashing their cars and then cutting themselves. We then move into a fairly boring section of the movie, which is vaguely thoughtful, and then it turns out that it's all happening because of TREES OF DEATH because they're unhappy with human destruction.. and... the bees disappeared so... yeah.

Perhaps I'm underestimating this film, and the whole thing is just trolling us (though I sort of doubt it). Even if this is the case though, the acting is just bad. Not quite bad enough to be one of those intentionally crappy movies like 'Sharknado', but not good enough for them to be winking and smirking at us while dumbing themselves down for their movie characters. The whole thing just feels flat, lacking enough emotional depth or action to keep me interested. My expression matched that picture throughout most of the movie.

   

The Happening: 11.2

The War of the Worlds

  

This is the 1953 original, by the way. I think I'll just put the year in brackets after the movie name of it's a remake. I'm still not sure what I'll do for two movies with the same name, but I expect I'll just leave them, or clarify it in the review - or maybe just the review of the one I like less, so that I don't have to pretend it exists when I write about my favoured one (cough 'The Host' cough).

It's fast paced for the 50s, though it takes some time to start. I totally forgive it that, though, as alien invasion movies always need to set up for a while before the actiony payoff. As far as I'm concerned, it's the opposite problem from what many comedies suffer from (interesting intro but a dissapointing conclusion). For the limited budget and the effects of the time, the action sequences really are compelling, despite some of the narrative being told via voice over as we see old WW2 footage with Martian sounds added.

All the shots are great, though. Such low angles, showing off the Martian's size and power, coupled with some great sound effects as they shoot their death rays. The bright colours associated with the martians (especially their tri-coloured eyes and bright skin) contrasts wonderfully with the toned down dirty humans. Many scenes are black and white (often because of the use of stock footage), which works nicely.

  

  

Like the book, the movie ended quite abruptly. That's sort of the point, but it was only briefly explained too, and felt awkward enough to draw my attention. It's clearly the American version of the story, as it takes place in California (I think) rather than England, and has really weirdly strong, awkward, religious tones at the end. Surely that the aliens were killed off by Earth diseases was a miracle of evolution (an eventuality, even) rather than a miracle pooped out by a god. At one point they even drop a nuke on the aliens (they use their magic shields though so it doesn't work out) which is a favoured catchphrase of theirs.

It's a true classic, and while it has many differences from the book (which I'd say was better - sorry), it's one of the best invasion movies I've ever seen.

   

The War of the Worlds: 70.4

Independence Day

The archetypal "aliens are invading the USA - oh, and the rest of the planet too, but don't worry because we have some nukes and enough white Christians to fart them in their direction" type movie, 'Independence Day' was obviously going to be a hit. It had some nice visuals but was effectively shit, save several cast members who can bring life to a production without trying very hard - which they weren't. It lacked an ounce of subtly, and the plot was basic to a fault.
It reminds me of 'Team America', with every other country being ridiculously quaint. Somehow the RAF from the Second World War have survived until the mid 90s without aging or loosing their jobs, and a group of desert nomads are hanging around the Great Pyramids of Giza, with the rest of Cairo cut out of shot.
 

 
The first shots of the alien capital ships hovering over major capitals are nice, though I must repeatedly remind myself that at the time of filming this hadn't already been done a hundred times. The efforts to acquaint us with the various characters that precede this scene totally fail to grab my attention, however. All the characters are fairly basic, and while some of the dialogue is funny, it all feels very contrived.
The action sequences are fine, but there aren't any that don't take place in the cockpit, and anything technical about the aliens are either sipped over or really badly explained. I enjoyed seeing Brent Spiner as someone other than Data or the guy who built Data, and Jeff Goldblum does adequately, but I didn't like Will Smith at all (I rarely do) and the rest of them were forgettable (apart from Jeff's dad, who I liked).
That speech the American President gave, though. Terrible.

Independence Day: 33.7

The Core

Unimaginative and unintelligent, 'The Core' is slightly worse than your run of the mill American save-the-world-from-disaster-using-nukes movie. Basically the core has stopped turning because a scientist guy did a thing, so the main character takes five minutes to badly explain it before shooting off in a wormy thing that can somehow withstand the pressure and heat (as well as drilling at presumably hundreds of miles an hour) with a rag-tag crew, all of whom die save him and the attractive woman that was the Vulcan in 'Star Trek: Enterprise'. Oh wait, no it's Hillary Swank. Damn. Yeah, OK, this movie's shit.

That's about it. There's no subtlety, the effects are bad, the acting is terrible for the most part and nearly OK now and then. Everything is stupidly overdone, and of course the US saves the world without any input from any other nation. I'm astounded that popular reviewers gave this such a high score. IMDB gave it 5.4/10, even Rotten Tomatoes (who I sometimes listen to) gave it 41%.

At one point they even get out of their metal dustbin, and are somehow protected against the crushing pressure and intense heat by their bronze latex jumpsuits. I know I'm past the complaining about the science bit but I just remembered that and it annoyed me, and it wouldn't really fit in up there very well now. If they had to have suits at least make then great big hulk-busting bastards, and maybe while your at it set the movie a thousand years in the future when we might have this stuff.

I was honestly expecting there to be dinosaurs or some kind of alien life in the core, and for the second half of the movie to turn into a 'Journey to the Centre of the Earth' remake (though even this garbage would beat the mound of faeces that was shat out in 2008). I didn't check, but that sounded like Linkin Park during the credits, though surely in 2003 they were too cool for this. (OK I just checked, and it wasn't Linkin Park - and don't call me Shirley).

The Core: 7.8