Hey,
Disney made a 'Star Wars' movie! No, not those 'Star Wars' movies -
this is 1979. Remember 'The Black Hole'? Oh right, well I'm going to
be talking about it for the next 375 words anyway.
So
our main characters are on a little exploration ship, and they find
this big lost ship on the edge of a black hole. It's controlled by a
mad scientist, and there are lots of annoying robots everywhere.
The
main one was the worst. It was obviously meant to be the R2
character, but the attempts at cuteness were just irritating. The
script was also impressively bad, with characters often making
laughably obvious statements or musing pointlessly on boring
subjects. The actual acting wasn't so bad, but was often bland. There
was never really a main character, other than the wacky scientist
guy, and I never really cared about any of them.
The
plot progressed weirdly slowly sometimes (why such a long setup and
dinner scene?) then at other times kicked into high gear and stopped
making much sense (so after twenty uneventful years, a whole storm of
meteors come to fuck up the ship just as the protagonists are trying
to escape?). A lot of stuff just randomly happens for no apparent
reason too, like that whole bit at the start where they were having
so much trouble docking, or the target shooting match the robot had
with that other robot that then never shows up again. This whole film
could have been half an hour long and would be far more interesting
for it.
The effects weren't terrible for the time and the budget, and I liked the design of the big ship's interior and the swirling of the black hole itself (though it didn't look very scientifically accurate, but then little was in this film). Some of the shots were downright beautiful, though often kinda goofy (as an example see the picture I used for this review. Looks cool, huh? Yeah, well that's a meteor, which broke into the ship and then rolled along inside it...) I feel like this should have been adapted into an episode of 'Star Trek' or something (maybe have the main characters be an away team that can't beam back for some reason, but who then escape back to the Enterprise on the probe ship or whatever - maybe have Brent Spiner as the mad scientist), but it was just about passable as a children's sci-fi adventure.
The effects weren't terrible for the time and the budget, and I liked the design of the big ship's interior and the swirling of the black hole itself (though it didn't look very scientifically accurate, but then little was in this film). Some of the shots were downright beautiful, though often kinda goofy (as an example see the picture I used for this review. Looks cool, huh? Yeah, well that's a meteor, which broke into the ship and then rolled along inside it...) I feel like this should have been adapted into an episode of 'Star Trek' or something (maybe have the main characters be an away team that can't beam back for some reason, but who then escape back to the Enterprise on the probe ship or whatever - maybe have Brent Spiner as the mad scientist), but it was just about passable as a children's sci-fi adventure.
The Black Hole: 30.1