This
is cinematic junk food, right here.
The
premise of 'Jingle All the Way' sounds about as terrible as any other
stupid Christmas movie: a US suburban dad works too hard and misses
his kid's play, or something. Then he makes a promise to the kid, and
spends the rest of the film trying to keep said promise. There's also
a dick neighbour who's trying to get with his wife, and a reindeer
that's in this movie for some reason.
But
then you find out that Arnold Schwarzenegger is in the lead role, and
the whole thing takes on a new kind of twisted brilliance. Why isn't
anyone questioning why this lawn furniture salesman is as buff as a
terminator? Or has a really strong Austrian accent? Fuck you, that's
why.
So
lots of dumb crap happens - oh yeah, and the guy's kid is playsed by
Lil' Orphan Annie, so that's brilliant - and then the movie ends with
something heartfelt that.. I forget... what that was.
There
was also some stuff about consumerism, but the film never seemed to
know if it wanted to actually make a point about this or if it just
wanted a reindeer to butt a man I the balls, and none of it really
gelled, so I sort of didn't pay any attention to those parts.
Anyway,
yeah. Fun and stupid. If it wasn't for Ahnold I wouldn't have enjoyed
it, but because of him I really did. An example of as good a Christmas
movie as there can really be, as far as I'm concerned.
Oh yeah, and Sinbad's in this! Who could forget him?! EXCEPT FOR EVERYONE AND THIS IS WHY.
Jingle All the Way: 31.5