I knew this would be dumb before I started watching it, but I wasn't expecting it to be this crap. It is Possibly the most ridiculously fast-paced movie I've ever seen. In the first 15 minutes he's grown from a useless fighter into a professional vampire hunter. Ten minutes of story development later he's going out with an engaged woman and twenty minutes after that he's already involved in politics. Soon everyone is flipping around and killing vampires. And then suddenly he's in silly makeup and a fake beard, and is leading the country.
It's really laughable. The cuts between scenes are often so fast and so much is skipped, that you're left with just a vague impression of what's going on. If this was a book the descriptions would amount to "bam!" and "pow!" sound effects, each chapter would be three pages long, and the font would be size 15 'Comic Sans'.
The movie isn't complete shit - it just mostly is. There are a number of nice shots that resemble the paintings of the time, particularly slightly impressionist landscapes. The ending scene mirroring one of the first ones was nice, and was one of the few elements of subtlety. Oh, and the novel of the film was written by the same person who wrote 'Pride and Prejudice and Zombies' - not Jane Austin, the dumb bits. Though if it's read how it's watched, it was probably written by crayons and the odd bit of faeces.
There is Way too much borderline bad CGI. At some points it looks more like an add for the next 'Assassin's Creed' game than it does a live action movie. The fighting is continuous and explosion filled, and while some of the fight scenes are quite well choreographed, they are ruined by the ever present CGI and the really fake looking gore. That this movie was described as a horror is a joke.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter: 8.4