“Most
archaeologists are trapped in time when it comes to re-working
methodologies and assimilating new evidence into existing historical
frameworks.”
yeah,
bullshit. I stopped really listening after this point. 'They Pyramid'
piggybacks off the use of satellites in discovering lost cities and
whatnot, and then creates conflict because apparently most
archaeologists hate science now. Oh yeah and aliens are mentioned
pretty early on. Oh and this probably goes without saying, but the
locals are all depicted as either violent or dumb and superstitious.
Oh and the way that all the Egyptologists in charge are Americans is
kinda like how they were all speaking English in that supposedly
Norwegian base in 2011's 'The Thing'.
Urgh,
I don't think a movie has irritated me this much since 'Taken'.
At
this point I was thinking that aliens would soon be making an appearance, but it turns into more of a less funny and slightly
less frightening 'The Mummy'.
The
graphics are about as bad as 'The Mummy' too. I'm pretty sure some of
the creatures didn't even have shadows. The lighting is also terrible almost the whole way through, and the film doesn't seem to know weather it wants to be a found footage horror or not, as now and then we cut to a confusing third person.
Heavy
breathing and bad decisions interspersed with a mixture of either
primary school level or twisted history. There's also plenty of
'Indiana Jones'-esque traps, but no one even close to as charismatic
is on screen. Actually, none of the characters are any good at all.
The acting isn't bad, exactly, but much of the script is, and they're
all pretty bland. It's just no fun to watch.
Oh
yeah, and Jay from 'The Inbetweeners' was in this, weirdly. Nice to
see him getting work though.
The Pyramid: 16.1