01/12/2016

GETEVEN

                   
Yes, it's meant to be one word. Yes, it's meant to be in caps. Otherwise known as 'Road to Revenge', 'GETEVEN' has been giving me Neil Breen flashbacks (like nam flashbacks, but worse) since I first watched it a few weeks ago.
               
                   
The hero of the film/director/writer/etc. is very much Breen's LA cousin. He has a boring, yet well paid job in real life, and has used his money to fuel a mid-to-late-life crisis of a film in which he stars as a sort of magical James Bond super spy type character who everyone loves except for the bad guys - who are very clearly the bad guys and definately not anything else, OK?!
That whole paragraph was two sentences, and this whole movie is a pile of shit. There is a barely cohesive plot that I won't bother going into (but rest assured that it involves drugs, satanic ritual baby sacrifice, and an excruciatingly long sex scene), and the characters are all so badly drawn that they're difficult to describe in any detail that wouldn't out do the movie's actual script. It's not quite as horrific as most of Breen's stuff, but it's extremely close. The icing on the cake is that the guy (his name is John De Heart by the way, and here is the film's hilarious website, which I highly recommend even if you don't bother watching it) wrote and sang all the songs in the film, and even performs one during it. He looks so scared too, and is so quiet. I almost felt sorry for him, but then I remembered how hilariously crappy the movie I was watching was.
             
GETEVEN: 2.4