A surprisingly awesome opening teaser sets us up for dissapointment, as 'The Giant Gila Monster' fails to deliver anything other than a pet lizard slowly knocking down model trees.
Most of the plot is pretty boring, and the characters are dull and 2D. One of my favourite bits was when a drunk yokel driving a truck confronts the monster and explodes into flames - only to appear later in the movie, totally unharmed. Now I may be missing something here; I wasn't sober or paying a huge amount of attention, but unless there are at least two hat wearing yokels in America that guy is fire retardant.
Much of this film is spent talking about old cars, and some of it is spent running away from the extremely slow and decidedly un-terrifying lizard. There was a scene where it was attacking a barn dance, and it came through the wall (clearly the handler rudely pushing it through the model set) but not before everyone ran outside to safety. Then some guy shoots at it (or something, I honestly don't remember - this movie really was a bore) and it lumbers slowly away! What?!
Oh yeah, and there's a kid with leg braces who is for some reason found in a field near the end. She's about the only thing this stupid monster would ever be able to catch.
The Giant Gila Monster: 7.3