So you know Nicolas Cage? You know how he occasionally plays a memorable character, or heads up an alright film? Ken how the rest of the time their all shite? Yeah, this is one of those.
He tries to be stone-faced, but it comes off boring and blank. His gross hair extensions exude more acting talent than he does here, and the rest of the forgettable cast do little to help him out. The story is something about the black death and some knights (with some horribly clunky historical references), and then witches - and maybe the devil, or something - turn up, the special effects department have a poorly choreographed fit, and I tune out.
There are a few partially redeeming qualities: Ron Perlman does what he does well (I'll always see him as a biker), and is perhaps the best actor in this nonsense. That's what the term is, by the way; a nonsense of actors. There's not much else to say here. It often looks nice, but you'd have to ignore a host of problems to be entertained. The effects are distractingly bad, and make the movie look ten years older than it is. Boring, silly, forgettable.
Season of the Witch: 9.1