10/05/2017

Unfriended

               
Urgh. Not only do I dislike this movie, it actively annoys me. All the kids in it are terrible rich Americans. They all do nasty shit to one another and then one of them kills herself over it (and I'm totally pro choice, when it comes to your own life, but what a stupid reason. You should never kill yourself when you're sad, only if you're bored and you know you're ready, or if it's part of your beliefs or an honour system or whatever) and haunts the rest of them through... Skype. I'm not even rooting for the ghost, because she was just as horrible a person in life as the rest of them. So, why should the viewer care about what happens in this film? Answer: they don't.
I'm sure I've seen a film like this before – where it's all on a computer screen. I've probably even written a review on one or two, but I don't remember. Unmemorable is the word of the day here, as there is very little originality in 'Unfriended'.
            
            
The time of writing is only three years after the film came out, but it's already terribly dated. The “kill urself” (“kill yerself” in Scotland - seriously) thing is old now, and I can only imagine how cringey this'll look in, say, ten years. The best parts were the unintentionally funny death scenes. The first one was a missed opportunity - they should have had her drink the bleach that was sitting beside her (then I could have likened it to my experience watching this garbage). The second was pretty great though, the fat nerdy guy puts his hand in a blender. The next guy just shoots himself, then a girl... I don't know, chokes to death on hair straighteners or a dildo or something - I wasn't really paying attention and there's lots of fast cuts and stuff. Anyway, they all die. 
The scariest thing about this movie was how cluttered this girls desktop was. Oh yeah, and the girl who kills herself does it because the others post a video of her shitting herself drunk. Hilarious. The premise was little more than a gimmick, though the whole computer thing was well done I guess. Should I really have to be praising a movie for that?
                 
Unfriended: 24.1