16/05/2017

Jack and Jill

               
I guess I hate myself, so I watched this. I've seen two or three Adam Sandler films, but this is the worst by quite a long way. Obviously It's not funny, that goes without saying, but it's basically just an extended advert for a cruise holiday, Coke, Sony computers, Pepto-Bismol, Oreos, and literally about ten other things. The product placement is so blatent and pervading that the entire film (one with a budget of nearly 80 million USD that Sandler paid himself) feels like a string of loosely tied together commercials.
             
             
The “plot” involved the main character's sister coming to stay, and engaging in awkward conversation and then farting. Katie Holmes plays his wife, and she does nothing. Al Pacino (who unfortunately hasn't died yet - just imagine how much more respect you'd have for him if he clocked out in the mid-90s) also stars as himself, as he chases Jill and dances around in an extended Dunkin Donuts advert. Besides Pacino, the film has also paid Johnny Depp, Shaquille O'Neal, Regis Philbin, Caitlyn Jenner, Jared from Subway... and about ten (no joke) other people to play themselves and be hated by me. Depp doesn't even get up off his chair for his entire scene, the lackadaisical greedy bastard. 
The above description really says all you need to know. There's little point in me actually talking about how terrible the film is, because you can already imagine by now. Crude/racist/stupid jokes abound, as do a wealth of non-scenes (very little actually happens in this movie. There aren't even many of the usual scenarios you'd expect in a twin film or a goofy family member film). I sincerely regret ever having watched it, and am slightly sickened that it exists. It's not just a bad film, the cynical scheming false way that they invented this way to pay themselves is an affront to an art form that's actually rather important to me. I need a shower.
                    
Jack and Jill: 3.1