“Don't
even listen to what the sexist detractors are pouting so much about,
this excellent, hilarious reboot is even better than the original
movie, with great actresses playing intelligent women who can kick
more ass than a lot of men - and the special effects are
sensational.”
This
made me angrily vomit into my closed fist. Shut the fuck up Carlos
Magalhães, and stop contributing to the artificial --- that is
effectively free publicity for this terrible movie - I wouldn't pout,
but when a studio makes money they tend to keep going, and it's
people like this who are helping along the current (time or writing
is early 2017) trend of crappy re-boots and re-makes and soft
re-boots and flaccid re-makes.
I
thought I'd feel better after that but I don't, for (shakespear quote
about hate being a monster that feeds on itself), so I'll just keep
going and base my whole thing around criticising this dope. Carlos is
a “super reviewer” at 'Rotten Tomatoes', by the way.
Alright,
so weather or not you care about the genders of the leads (I don't,
but I don't mind if you do, Carlos) this is not better than the
original movie. It's not the worst thing I've ever seen, but it's not
at all good, and it's not nearly close to the original. I know any
art form is totally subjective, but I think the majority would agree
with me, and I'm currently writing this thing, so..
The
actors were alright, but given a little too much leeway for my blood.
Without even checking I can tell a lot of the quirky little comedy
moments were ad libbed, and it often detracted from their characters
(what I'm saying is, they didn't have characters). The main one had a
backstory, as did her old buddy, so an extent, but other than that it
was just sort of... now we're ghost busters! Like I said though the
actors themselves were fine. Jones was my favourite in the film (a
surprise, because she seemed irritating in the trailer and I haven't
seen her before, but she was actually the most grounded of the
bunch), and if I still watched more SNL than the odd clip I think I'd
enjoy them all on that. I don't tend to lie an actors performance
more or less based on how much ass the fiction character they're
playing can kick, Carlos, you prick.
The
special effects were perfectly acceptable. I don't think Slimer
needed to make such an embarrassing appearance, and neither did any
one of the litany of old cast members. They turned up everywhere,
usually in boring roles, to look depressed and deliver a snarky line
or two before going away again or dying.
The
villain of the piece is badly fleshed out too. His main trait is that
he's weird, and he does weird well, but that's it. He doesn't get a
chance to build a relationship with our protagonists either, as
they're both too busy doing their own things for almost the entire
movie (part of this is the extended development of the ethereal
weaponry scenes, which I quite enjoyed, but they felt like filler
nonetheless).
The
last little thing is the way the creators repeatedly showed their
contempt for the fans of the originals. Maybe don't call them ass
holes when they call you out on shitting on the property? It's
usually a bad idea to fuck with the fans.
On
the whole a fairly bland comedy horror that shamelessly rips off a
classic. It's very cosmetic, there are so many little poop jokes and
random weird Pringle eating and needless crap shoved in.
Ghostbusters: 24.5