I'm
not sure if I'm just in a funny mood, but this movie felt like such
utter garbage that I struggled to sit through. I actually took
breaks, no kidding.
It's
just so great at making you not care about the characters. It's
pretty impressive. There aren't even that many battle scenes (the
ones that are in it are just a big game with clouds of cartoons and
lasers) and the conclusion is super lame.
I
get that it's written for kids, or teens, or tweens, or whatever, so
fine. Apparently it doesn't deviate far from the source material (a
shallow young adult pseudo sci-fi novel), which must have been
similarly lame and dreary.
So
it's the future, and everything is drones, and kids control them
because kids are good at games or something. They're fighting
Geonosians who we never see or connect with at all until right at the
end, so we don't really care about anything here. Also, Earth isn't
in danger or anything. Nah, we're just being dicks like usual. It's
sort of like 'Starship Troopers' but without any characters or a
cohesive moral lesson.
It
ends with the main kid saving a queen egg and then flying off by
himself to rear it, or something. Oh yeah, this is after committing
mistaken genocide on the bugs. It's wrapped up weirdly fast, after
such a slow build-up. Far far far too much time is spent watching
this kid get into fights and gradually win respect from his oft-changing peers. Far
too little information is given about the state of the wider world.
The actual sci-fi elements go from seemingly fine to 'Star Wars'
level un-sciency. The effects are pretty great, but they are used so
much that everything feels plastic. Harrison Ford seems to be
practising for the 7th 'Star Wars' film, but not
practising very hard. The rest of the cast is fine, but I had to
spend sooooooo much time looking at children. Gross. To quote Louis
CK: “I'm, like, the polar opposite of a paedophile."
Ender's Game: 29.8