Straight to video? No, really?
'Future War' unsatisfactorily tells the tale of a human slave from the future who somehow escaped to the 90s, and is being chased by terminators and dinosaurs, who are also from the future but also from the past. There's also a terrible/awesome nun (depending on your religious views) who swears and smokes and wears thigh-high nun dresses. There are also other characters.
The dinosaurs look alright, I guess, but the models for them are tiny (necessitating some really badly set up forced perspective shots), and their range of movements are extremely limited. The cyborgs, though, damn are they bad. Some of them have mullets, most of them have eye shadow, one of them has some kind of crappy Borg-esque eye thing. They are mostly there to slowly chase our heroes and then be kicked in the face multiple times to no avail.
It rips off scenes from so many good movies, the most hilarious of which (in my opinion) was the bit in 'Jurassic Park' with the T-Rex chasing the truck - in 'Future War' it's painfully obvious that the dinosaur is a small puppet, and the actors in the car can barely hide their grins.
Just about watchable, if only to mock, 'Future War' was neither set in the future nor featured a war. Also, what's up with all the boxes? Seriously, there was even a 'Box Wrangler' listed in the credits.
Oh yeah! I can't believe I forgot to mention this until now, but every time a dinosaur gets killed it explodes. Yep.
Future War: 8.5