Writing for 'Moon' reminded me of this, because it did perfectly everything that this mess shat out. 'Gravity' is an over hyped, poorly acted, terribly written, boring mess. It's also one of the most loved movies of recent times, a fact that completely confuses me. Am I wrong here? I think I must be; if Spock and Communism have taught me anything, it's the importance of the masses. Right now though I'm just about ready to vote Conservative, buy a house, and start washing a car because the masses are seeming like idiots to me.
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| Oh no! Time for some heavy breathing! |
It was hard to sit through. It's worse because I was expecting so much, and it was sooooooo disappointing. There isn't one original element, it's all been done before - but worse, it's been done before far better. The leads are passable at best, but Clooney falls completely flat (as he does all the time, without anyone seeming to notice) and Bullock hams it up no end. The shots are... expensive. Most are lifted from other, better, classics, and it is done so blatantly and unrelentingly that it feels more like theft rather than a homage.
What else? Well it feels tediously American in the worst way: The Russians are a quaint joke, rather than the leaders in space station construction and home to the best space agency in the world. I honestly can't remember, but I think the piss is taken out of the Chinese quite heavily too at one point, which similarly left a sour taste in my mouth. It feels like the movie is trying to be realistic, which makes it's massively wonky science laughable. It's worse because it's all taken so seriously.
There are plenty of other problems, but I'll try to focus on the positives for a moment. Um. I've seen worse acting, though it was in TV movies. But it was still worse, so... Oh, and the effects were excellent. A lot of money was clearly spent, and the shots are often interesting, even while they don't really work and are blatant rip-offs. There are actually plenty of movies that are far worse, but they haven't received as much misplaced love as this one. Yeah, that's all I got.
What almost angers me about this movie is that it's being heralded as one of the few proper new sci-fi movies. It's not. Watch 'Moon' instead. Urgh I'm getting annoyed about this, I'll stop.
Crap.
Gravity: 11.4