A haunted house movie that does what one would expect, without being at all interesting or original. We've seen it all before, and by the end of the movie my eye sockets had arthritis from all the rolling they were weathering. A couple move into a new house. It's "old" (nothing in North America is old) so it's creepy. The couple are cutesy yet differ in their belief of a key relevant element (ghosts in this case, or maybe just religion - I didn't care enough to really be listening). They have at least one kid, which something creepy happens too. Both their safety and their relationship is tested.
It doesn't even begin to nod to these tedious details in the way that 'The Shining' did awesomely. It doesn't exactly do anything wrong, it just doesn't do anything at all. You could change the names of the characters and the setting and basically have a dozen other movies that were made in the last thirty years.
It builds tension well. That's the main necessity of haunted house films, and it ticks this box. Most of the creepy stuff that happens is pretty creepy, though the whole absent father thing is so yawn I'm not even going to mention it (except that I did).
The two inept ghost busters are nice characters, and provide some laughs. There should have been more of that in my opinion - if it had gone full 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' it could only have been a good thing. I liked the use of 'Tiptoe Through the Tulips', though as I was subsequently picturing Tiny Tim the whole time I struggled to be creeped out by it.
Overall, though, it was a big ol' meh. Some of the stop frame face changing effects were laughable (the smiley gurns they became (pictured) didn't help).
Insidious: 13.0